Re: Re: Confessions of a Serial Killer

This is about a friend, a friend who somehow makes me want to do a Helent Hunt (à la As Good as It Gets style) and snap “Come on in, and try not to ruin everything by being you”, but a dear friend nonetheless.

This friend of mine told me the other day that he is going to write a real long blog post apologizing everyone he has interacted with for all those times he has hurt them with his arrocasm [read arrogance + sarcasm. Don't bother looking it up in the dictionary, I am yet to update the next edition :)]... and since he does have this irritating way of being (not just sounding!) rather arrogant and smearing his sarcasm at times, I must say there will be a long list of people he would have to confront if he was to personally ask for pardon from them one on one.

I know I shouldn't, but I somehow started comparing his otherwise sweet gesture with the confessions of a serial killer. And I am not referring to a serial killer who after executing all the heinous crimes realises the aftermath of what he has done, who cannot look at himself without reproaching himself for all the blood shed he has caused and who now is asking for penance and wants to reform. My analogy involves the other breed, the perennial killer who is yet to sober down and tread the reformed path, who after a 5 year killing stint decides to confess his sins. And it is not an act of remorse, regret or any kind of guilt that drives him to the sanctity of the church to ask for forgiveness. He just wants to confess and get it done with so he can go “bang bang.. boom” again the next moment! And we must forgive him his recklessness for it is written in 1 John 1:9 verse of the bible, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Confession done, killer cleansed of all his evil deeds and he is raring to go pawn on more gullible/non gullible unsuspecting martyrs. Another 5 years and he is ready to repeat the cycle. If I was an authority in church, I would make it mandatory for all confessions to be accepted if and only if the confitent is full of self-reproach for the mortal sins he has committed and firmly resolves to redeem himself. But I am yet to adorn that robe.

Coming back to my killer... interesting thing is, next confession session he does not need to ask pardon for all his sins. He can just refer to them as “ones committed since my last confessions...” or if we get so advance as to have a facility to get our confessions done through e-mail, he can just do a Reply to the priest and continue. After some time his e-mail subject may look something like “Re: Re: Confessions....”

Similarly my friend who has an abundance of arrocasm and who I know has no qualms admitting it nor is toning it down, when needs to ask for similar pardon from friends/relatives, can repost it every 5 years or so. His blog has a wide circulation, so he would not need to worry about them not reading it. To add a personal touch, he can perhaps simply send a mail saying “Dear xyz, Please refer to my blog post “http://........com/confessions..” Cool thing is its on the world wide web forever. He can direct people to the link as and when the needs arise. This way all are cool, or are we really...

I am only worried that perhaps, just perhaps, I will get so ticked off with his arrocasm one day and decide “..and that was the last straw!” in a moment of passion...
I am only worried that my dear friend will one day become my once dear friend...